dreamscape

play with your princess dress, houseful of glitter, read a story before bedtime and dream of best friends and homemade pies...

sleepless

red-eyed decision maker
decision make
decision made
decision
decision
decision
de ci si on
d e c i s i o n
d c s n

beauty parade

location, location, location...
security, security, security...
light, light, light...
partying, partying, partying...

right!

for the record, i am right now feeling ecstatically happy for no reason whasoever.
hurrah! yay! tra-la-la!

scattered conversations

almost every night, almost every day these scattered conversations keep returning. the retelling of our days, the exchange of impressions, fleeting moments, random images, london fables. an apple for me, a pear for you. i would miss it so much if your lovely pin-ball head wasn't around...

naughty

there is only one person in the world right now knows what i'm wearing... some would kill for the priviledge. it had better cheer you up.

three reasons why or dulce de leche: a love affair

1. because it tastes great
2. because it smells nice
3. because i feel like it

instruction manual

when handling ladelenteses make sure to keep them warm and well-fed at all times. in cold weather ladelenteses tend to get slightly craggy, and it becomes hard to tell when they are annoyed at somebody or not. hunger tends to blur their vision and makes them incredibly sensitive to irony. ladelenteses tend to hide everything behind a veneer of good humour and light-hearted jokes. do not be fooled. inside they are raging with all sorts of unexplainable feelings which will eventually come out one way or another. these range from the simple "i miss you" to the more complicated and wildly more dangerous "if i see you, i'll bite your head off" (scientists have discovered at least 1million different feelings which can interact in multiple variations to make each ladelentes individually petrifying) these feelings are completely indistinguishable from each other and it is wise not to assume a pre-judged position on encountering a wobbly ladelentes. either way, make sure to have an answer ready for every question, as lack of answers tends to exacerbate the reaction. how do you know a ladelentes is reacting? well, it's easy, all you have to do is [page of the manual torn]

not alone anymore

jill, jarvis and tilly have arrived. everything's fine now. phew.

all business / don't let the grass grow under your feet

so if it doesn't work out, what do you do?
you make a few phonecalls
you arrange a few dates
you get busy
you move on
and the right one will surely come along
as sure as rain
as sure as the moon
as sure as it all goes round regardless

high maintenance

low expectations

disappointment

is the image of a man clambering up the side of your flat-to-be, clutching a can of beer, letting in a bunch of suspected drug dealers into the building, as a man with a fierce-looking dog loiters in the corner, on a sunday afternoon.
ohhhhhhh start again...
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

the number you have dialled has not been recognized

in order to ensure an efficient service, please take a ticket and queue this side
we are sorry for any inconvenience caused during the renovation works
please keep your belonging with you at all times when travelling on the underground
alight here for buckingham palace, change here for the jubilee and picadilly lines
the flight arriving at gate 56 is the 13.45 Virgin Atlantic service from Rio de Janeiro
i know i said that's what i wanted, but i have changed my mind and now i won't let you go
to enjoy your chocolate gu, remove all plastic packaging and place in a pre-heated oven for 10 minutes
one day he will see that it's all so much more simple than that
stand behind the yellow line and let passengers off the train first
you didn't have to lie, she would have understood and now you've blown it
would you like any pastries with that?
i am drowning
delete as appropriate
mind the gap between the train and the platform
do not go past this sign
do not go past this sign
do not go past this sign
this is not a fridge

witness II

a man walking barefoot in kings cross station on a rainy morning. toes covered in rings. rings fitted with dainty chains disappearing up his trousers. he's wearing a suit and a city mac. and carrying a briefcase.

witness

a spy drops a note on the floor, in front of MI6, another one comes and picks it up. and nobody notices but me. my life could be in imminent danger. watch out for people hiding behind false moustaches and mirrored sunglasses. they're coming to get me.

sunset

walk up to the top of the tower step by step
unfold the rope you've been threading for years
tie it to the top of the antenna
lower yourself down the side
gold shimmering on the windows
break through the fourth floor fire exit
take the girl and jump!

anthropomorphic

the door has developed a wintery sigh. open it, it sighs. close it, it sighs. i treat it gently, it sighs. i force it open, it sighs. inhale, exhale... sounds like me, sometimes.

looks like snow

everything slowed down. stripey, eery, ghost-lit sky.

all yours

i only have two. and they are small. and not working very well. one doesn't hear so good. the other's too small to put headphones in. they both produce this incredibly annoying microphone-feedback style noise. permanently. but. they are all yours, whenever you need them.

surreal conversations that can only happen when it's a slow blogging day

I'm not sure I get it. Is it...

A. Maybe if I start she'll suddenly look over and think "Actually, I think I WILL have that CENSORED after all. I wasn't keen before, but you've totally changed my mind for me..."

or perhaps it's

B. The effect of being in close bed proximity of (NAME DELETED). Warning: Beautiful Short-Haired Tall Girl May Cause Imminent CENSORED In Men! Now there's a T-shirt to wear with pride. Probably wouldn't get past your strict blog moderation though these days, eh? ;-)

On 11/21/06, yyy wrote:

i had that a while ago. CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED oh, boy! men are crazy creatures...

Quoting xxx :

Poor baby. I forget sometimes about how that is with you.

Instead I shall distract you with a funny story. I do stories occasionally, this we know.

And it's the true story of a friend of mine. She's been single for way too long (she's stunning too, which is a whole other inexplicable thing I won't get into as it confuses me as much as why other beautiful girls are still single...). Anyway she managed a date, the first in over a year, with a male friend she knew well-ish.

They meet at the pub, a few drinks, all fine. He's pleasant enough company. He invites her back to his place for drinks. Also fine. Remember she's been single a while.

Back at his, they do a little necking, but she decides that this is plenty. He's not prince charming after all. She puts up with the necking, thinking that a little bit of sugar before she retreats will help the medicine go down.

The time comes - she's had enough. "I'm going to go home now," she says to him.

He's looks less than happy. Suddenly, he speaks:

"Do you mind if I...play with myself?"

There is a pause. A long pause.

"That's fine," she says,"I'll...let myself out."

She goes home. Probably not to date again for another year.

Hope you feel better soon baby xx

On 11/21/06, yyy wrote:

i'm all in pain :(

NB Names have been changed to protect identities...

in the sauna with the madman

we go red
and more red
and redder still
exhale
vietnamese
home

p.a.i.n.

so without me noticing somebody must have slipped a couple of 50kg dumbells on each of my hands and there i go, wandering around like a lost weight-lifter, grimacing the weight away, stretched streched streched.

farfalle carioca

is a mixture of brazilian and italian. is an all-sorts flavour experience. is enigmatic, puzzling, tempting, fun and much needed.

tim ten yen

he is so seriously cheering that i'm sure the guys at the prozac factory are even now plotting ways to disappear him from the face of the earth to secure their hold on the happiness-inducing products market.

tim ten yen (and the sinister cat)

super

slide!
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

south bank, spicey noodles, sunshine, slides!

80s?

"haircut" by tania
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

when i was a kid i cut my hair one day i was so upset i sat on the bathroom marble counter with my scissors the ones that i used to make little paper boy and girl chains with but not anymore cos i was so grown up which is why i cut my hair i just got most of it and it was so long into a pony tail on top of my head and chopped chopped chopped and got left with a hideous bald patch on top of my head and the hairdresser nearly cried when she saw it you have such beautiful hair why did you do that was it a boy it's always a fucking boy i didn't know it then because i had only just grown up but yes that is exactly what it was which was stupid cos of course looking like a boy was never going to help with the boy problem but i really wanted to cut my hair and wear lipstick bright red and look like a boy with my tie and my three-piece suit and my short hair and i left a little bit straggling at the end which i would plat and put glittery hairbands on it was just a bit of hair but it made everybody think i was a lesbian because that's what lesbians did it was a secret sign was the rumour flying round the high school at the time i don't care i'm not a lesbian i just had to cut my hair that day and cry on the cold marble counter and learn the hard way that cutting your hair won't make a damn bit of difference except i look very lovely in my boyish hair. and it's nice to stroke.

alienscape

there are no planes
there are lots of trees
the air is noticeably more oxygen-rich
a couple of postmen walk leisurely side by side, divving up the bundles of post
(postcards from exotic holidays? get well cards? the final bill for that new electric-swivel-bath-chair?)
birds twitter in the drizzle
the tube-man says good morning
and waves you goodbye
back into the real world

empachada

when you've had a lot of a good thing and all you can do is sit back and enjoy the fullness of it all, a self-satisfied smile playing on your lips

applies to gigs, sushi, dulce de leche, butterfly kisses, runs of good luck.

jarvis

works hard for his money. he sure makes it all worth while: the booking fee, the posting fee, the fee fee... up there on the stage he dances, he prances, he makes jokes and he sings some fucking amazing songs. one man show indeed!

jarvis

spam reading

writing. flames.

spikey

nearly cut myself with a knife hidden in the washing up.
the heels on my shoes went into the soft ground.
and, by god! i've had an offer accepted on the flat.

crafty

neighbours spent the best part of the night mysteriously sawing things in their garden.
the piles of shoes made me trip over as i navigated the (still) darkened flat.
so, darn and blast! i'll put a higher offer on the flat.

electric

the second street-light on the left kept going off as i walked past.
i walked into my flat and all the lights were gone.
so, dammit! i've gone and put an offer on a flat.

seu jorge

dancing to the tunes at the roundhouse, surrounded by writhing people of varying degrees of beauty, i remember that brazilians were created so that you don't need a dictionary to look up the word "hedonism"

seu jorge

croissant(not)

the waning moon is perfectly halved.
half a stilton.
watermelon slice.
wedding-day grin.

spam reading: spooky

for a week now, my spam have all had the subject line "hi {first part of my email}", which, as the first part of my email is my first name, has made me feel like i have lots of lovely new friends. however, today things got to a scary place when i received a "hi..." spam addressed to one of my first ever nicknames. "hi helicopter", it said. delete, delete, delete!

the end

after the book is finished a vast desert opens in front of your eyes. you are alone. there are no more words. the characters are gone. that's it. it's just you and no-one else's fantasy world from now on.

origins

twisty
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

a few things i'm sure would become a lot clearer if people were aware that there lurk behind the spectacles a little bit of basque, a little bit of andalusian gypsy, a little bit of southern italian and possibly some moorish too.

bouncey morning

get a round of applause from the club bouncers as you catwalk your way across their doorway to the sound of goldfrapp's ride a white horse

belgian beer

has to be the only thing in the world that can make you forget the horror of sitting through 1.5 hours of possibly the crappiest movie i have seen since nacho libre. which is the crappiest movie i have seen in about 10 years. which is a long time. so, that's two of my friends gone down in my estimation in less than 3 months. guys, you'd better make up for it!

take a leaf out of shep's book, who decided in his great wisdom to send me a movie about couples breaking up and all that jazz...now that's education!

(just joking shep, i did love that movie...)

lying in the dark

Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

at 3am, i can smell the memory of all the people i have slept with. on my pillows, on my hair, on my skin, on my fingertips.

at 4am, i can hear all the noises i have made and they have made, like ancient instruments playing antiquated songs.

at 5am, i turn on the light and see their faces, winking at me from every corner, pointing out of the window at the coming dawn.

trembling

across blackfriars bridge the ground runs away from under your feet. the river shimmers fuchsia down below. the red bannister smooth only just waist height. hold on while you feel the trembling of your heart run to your hand to the bannister to the bridge to the river below, breaking up the smooth flowing surface into a million fiery ripples.

answer to the question: anywhere to stay in uruguay between brazil and argentina, with a beach?

contemplating a swim
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

if you don't mind roughing it a bit, there's this beautiful place which is a bit remote but very nice called cabo polonio, very close to the border between brazil and uruguay. i think they may have some better accommodation now, but it used to be just made up shacks with no electricity or water. everybody just gets along and smokes pot happily etc...

much posher and overpriced, and about half way down the cost of uruguay (i.e. half way between argentina and brazil, if you go that way) is punta del este, a favourite with b-list european royalty and where you'll find the most happening nightlife, with clubs and dj's just like in ibiza

further west (closer to the capital) you have smaller resorts such as piriapolis which has a posh spa hotel (can't really see you into that!) as well as cheaper hotels, or atlantida which is small, but close enough to montevideo to have a bit more of an interesting nightlife than most sleepy resorts, as people often pop over from the capital for the weekend

between punta del este and atlantida there are a million tiny tiny towns all pretty relaxed and summery. one where the beach is truly lovely is solis, pretty windy and rocky but really lonely and natural

the best beaches for surfing and that kind of stuff are east of punta del este, where it's proper ocean. but the beaches west of punta del este are pretty as well and can be less crowded. if you go in february, that's jellyfish season, so beware the nasty bites!!!

of course you must also spend some time in montevideo, the capital (but not for the beach which is not so cool for three reasons: one, it's a big city, so not so clean, two, it's not the ocean anymore, it's a river and three, everybody fucks off from montevideo for most of the summer so there ain't a soul left!) it's worth a visit though. the downside of going in summertime is that it's almost empty, so you don't get to appreciate the crazy socializing that usually takes place, but hey, it's my town -- you must visit!

nearer argentina, and a place where you can get a ferry to buenos aires from is colonia this is a tiny colonial town (yeah, the name is a giveaway) which hasn't really got a proper beach at all, but you'll probably end up here on your way to argentina and it is nice to spend a day here, just mooching around (but no more than a day -- it really is tiny)

and that's it. the countryside is also lovely, but if you're after beaches, that pretty much sums it up

have a lovely holiday

see also: what comes out when someone asks me what there is to see at home...

curves

london bus
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

eyebrows
eyelashes
lips
chin
breasts
belly
buttocks
calves
toes

st mary le bow

st mary le bow
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

couldn't hear the bells when she was born, but that may have only been because of the noises inside her head.

old billingsgate market

old billingsgate market
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

i put the basket down. having travelled all the way from the sea, it was a miracle the oysters were still alive, but alive they were, wriggling in and out of their shells, knowing their fate. it was still early light and i sat there, watching the oysters, feeling a faint haze creep over along the river. from the sea to the land. lazy haze, carrying news of whales and mermaids and stray dolphins. coming back with stories of deer and elves, told by a madman who lives in a cave. behind me the market wakes up from late sleep. fuzzy. unwilling. too bloody early, it sniffs, too fishy. stop your daydreaming and come over, it tells me. come over, sell your oysters and buzz off.

traitors' gate

traitors' gate
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

the queen passes her sentence. you are to be taken to the tower in preparation for the day you'll be hung, drawn and quartered. you look back at the sequence of events that took you here and sigh. if only you had listened to that crazy witch. she had whispered softly in your ear while she cast her spell. she had warned you not to close your eyes to your own heart. but now it's too late. best you can hope for is to make friends with the tower rats, so at least you don't feel quite so lonely while you wait. wait. wait.

monday am

cuadriculado
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

haze, low tide, funny dogs, bored policemen, window cleaners finishing off, aquarium sharks beckoning, wheels beginning to turn, sleepy street performers, wandering tourists, film crew, anorexic runner, office workers peering out (already), red bridge, looming dome, st sepulchre, sharp buildings breathing people in, butchers, body parts, city boys, suits-and-trainers-capucchino land, delivery vans, sandwich men, churchyard cuts, winding stairs, coffee run.
music off.
coat put away.
computer on.
you have 50 new messages.

a moment

news travel across the wires and there is sadness, incredibly painful sadness in my friend's eyes. and nothing i can do or say about anything.

don't make me tell you twice

now, i know it's all very sad when people break up and all that.

but at the end of the day, what's the worst thing that you can say? that you spent a great deal of time for a while with someone who loved you and you loved? that you visited exotic places and learned a lot about the world because this person gave you an excuse to? that you met lots of people and did lots of things that made you grow up in their company? that you are now a stronger person who will go on to do even more cool stuff?

oh, right, so you say, but what about all that pain, and all those questions, and all the doubt, and the insecurity. well, in the bigger scheme of things, and comparatively, the painful times are more than amply outnumbered by the great times. and the company you had was just that: company -- not a crutch, not your rock, none of that. it's always been you steering the boat.

so dust yourself up, little flower, get your heels on, and go out, and have fun, and be beautiful.

there, you've been told. don't make me tell you again.

(but you're welcome to complain about the cold)

a torrid affair on the offing

the guy from ludlow thompson looks me in the eye, puts his hand on my shoulder and says: it was lovely to see you again. don't worry, we'll find you a flat. and as i get lost in his blue eyes i make a secret commitment to really take my time choosing the right place for me.

día de los muertos

grand-ma
i was very little so i can only remember pictures from the day. an anchor laid out on a grassy patch. pizza and pop i was looking forward to. a tall elegant woman holding my hand, collapsing. the smell of the river.

grand-pa
he used to tie my school apron in a huge bow. we'd run to his part of the house to watch cartoons in the black and white telly. one day he fell ill and disappeared. for ever i had this dream: i could see his head framed in a window, as i got close, his head would fall backward onto me. i wish we had been there to say goodbye.

visiting hours
some sundays dad and i would go to visit his parents, my grandparents. we would always stop at the flower market opposite the entrance. smelling of sweet decaying flowers. i used to love watching the birds of paradise, the orchids, the irises, but we always bought carnations and i always chose which colour.

later, i outgrew the visits with my dad and would sneak up by myself. no flowers, just cigarettes. sitting on the place one day will be my home, i would talk to grand-pa and grand-ma, cry for them and for me. missing them, missing my mum and dad, missing me being a child.

try to sell your soul to the devil

cherub
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

walk into a dark garden at midnight with a sharpened knife. cut your arm just inside your forearm until there's some bleeding. let the drops of blood fall onto the moonlit ground. old nick will come round to the smell. ask him for a favour. he'll say anything, but for your soul. tell him you want it all to tally up to a bit more than a few good fucks, a lot of drink and a mindless search for answers nobody needs anyhow. he'll laugh and say, no can do, you'll have to ask him upstairs about that.

neko case

has one of those names that antagonizes you before the word go. but. she wears these amazingly tall heels she can't really walk on, and between songs she tells us about her favourite bits from 'the birds' -- with voice impersonations and all -- and as she totters her way from one to the next, the songs grow and grow and suddenly you just want wipe the tears from your face and put her in your pocket to take home with you.

neko case

m. ward

comes onto the stage with crazy hair and a huge guitar and plays sad songs that make you smile. if all there was in the world was me and m. ward making songs i would be quite contented.

m. ward

spam reading

he was good to say his chair and streaked with no...