stupid cow

over the roasting lamb the stupid cow waxes lyrical about her knowledge of everything. when she leaves i shrug my shoulders and roll my eyes. she sees me and comes back at me...you're so rude, she says. well, better that than wacking you straight on the nose, which is what i've been fantasising of doing for the last 15 minutes. you stupid cow.

tongue tied

i pop by my friend's restaurant for a bit of company and a beer. my friend says a cheerful hello and i struggle with my solidified jaw, rusty from days without speaking, to respond in kind. later on he puts a plate of cow tongue in front of me, garnished with some onions and garlic. appropriately yummy.

the great communication party!

got them on skype, got them on email, got them on messenger, got them on the phone...