how life came into my life

i used to lie by the pool, one hand and one foot dropped into it, my body catching the late morning sun, channelling water cool up my left side, my right side tracing fingertipped lines in the puddle spilling out from under me. a name spelled out. heart shapes. clouds. closing and opening. focusing on the shapes, trying to read the message inside my eyelids. flowing from red to green to ice cold blue. sliding down the shape of my waist as it rounds into my belly. just melting there, into the grey slate stone, into the pool, into the sun, into the far away future.