the woman who always finishes your sentences, but filling in the wrong blanks

so you're saying... and i was cycling down the canal with this guy, and then this other guy popped up... and she says "... and you ignored him!"

and the end of that sentence was not that. it was obviously "... and i became a completely stupid jelly-fish who other jelly-fish would laugh at in account of the totally ridiculous wobble that was generated by the encounter. as if it was the first time it happened and all..."