dream diary

there's a party at my parents' house. the old one. the garden is filled with people. d is there. he's not interacting with me but later on he comes to talk to me. we go to a corner of the garden where there are lots of bunk beds. we have a nap.

steamy windows

either mean it's a crap summer, or you're doing very well. or both.

like unicorns in a fairytale

there were beautiful people and butterflies and glass of champagne? and the opera singer with her lovely breasts and the dogs and the children in polka dot skirts and fancy dessert? and floating bits of light and music and sunshine and chinese umbrellas and a sunset and a laugh and a boy in a swimming pool with swimming pool eyes.

the moth

black wings whisping all the way up the queensbridge road. i remember not to follow dreamers. it's always a bad idea.

there there

she said while stroking his hair
she said while running a finger along the curve of his cheek
she said while caressing the back of his neck
she said while kissing his eyelids
she said while putting his head to her breast
she said while drying the tears in his eyes
she said while blowing dust from his wound
while looking at him
while sighing
she said
there there
and so he fell asleep

the changing face

since when did 'solvency' become a marker of acceptability?

dream diary

my friend h and her family are living in the house of a man i have a thing with, in the countryside. the man is seeing someone else, in fact he's enaged. i go to the house and we have a row. he speeds off in a motorcycle and kills himself. i have to go and tell his fiance, who's basically my friend sj and actually in school. i'm with the man's brother. when we found her she was writing a letter to everybody to thank them for their support. she rewrites the letter to make it for the brother. she reads it out to me. it's a great letter. the man's brother is meant to drive me back to the city. i have now turned into the man that died. there's some trick going on. i challenge him to get to the city very fast. i fall asleep. i wake up in the car, the brother is gone, there's a croissant and a thermos with coffee. i pour the coffee, and i realize we did get to the city. but we're only in the perifery. the brother comes back, i tell him he's done a good job of getting to the city very fast, but he's still got to negociate the internal traffic jam, so he won't make the time i challenged him too. we set off again and suddenly we see this weird thing, he stops the car. in the middle of the road there is a young couple frozen in a kiss. they look like they're 12. she's a little taller than him, both of them have long hair. at first we think they are dead. we touch them and they fall to the ground, separating. we are dithering between calling a hearse or an ambulance. finally we think they may be alive so we call an ambulance. the ambulance comes and they think they're dead, but i convince them that they may be breathing. at this point we get to hospital, the kids are lying together side by side and they are encased in a plastic wraparound, like the blister-type packaging that dolls come in. their eyes are moving side to side, but only when i'm looking. suddenly we see some moisture on the plastic and we know at least one of them is alive and breathing. i wake up.

scream if you know this one

the one where the girl gets drunk and thinks maybe i'll sleep with him but finally rescues herself by walking home, sobering up and eating a whole pizza all by herself.

you're a nightmare

you're a nightmare...
you're a nightmare...
you're a nightmare...
so.
glad we settled that!
now, can i go back to sleep?

try harder, stop trying

there is a girl renowned for forgetting everything all the time. quickly and efficiently. things that may be painful, things that may be joyful, things that may have taken place only a little time ago, things that were a constant through years and years and years. everything can and will be forgotten. sometimes the girl wonders if anything will stick. but really she can't understand nostalgia. she doesn't have time to care. and so she sings her merry songs, shrugs her pretty shoulders and looks ahead ahead ahead....

timeframe

when the room goes dark and the lights go on and the ghosts wake up from their sleep and pounce on you. you have two seconds to make believe this is not happening. one. two. you're caught. the alarm goes on. the ghosts have eaten your life. off you go, have a piece of toast and start all over again.

dream diary

i'm on a beach in uruguay. that's it.

lately

there is a person in a corner of a room. which corner, which room, which person. the person has another person holding their shoulders from behind. the skin of the shoulders feels the gentle pressure of the fingers, the slight warmth, the pleasure the fingers feel as they graze the smooth skin fuzz. the person in the corner of the room screams in silence. the hands on the person's shoulders squeeze sympathetic. the shoulders tense up. there are more things feeling in this room than just two people. the shoulders feel, the fingers feel, the head feels, the eyes feels. the person is shut down tightly inside themselves. tight as a ball of knitting wool. waiting to be unspun. hoping the cat won't catch it and tangle it all up.

'i long to see my home and see the day of my return. it is my never-failing wish'

odysseus. seas. sea monsters. monster adventures. adventures fatigue. fatigued of travelling. travelling nowhere. nowhere to go. go home. home.

spam reading

did it tell you anything that you didn't know already?

the question

the question popped up in my head but i didn't ask it. i didn't ask it because things had been agreed, signed and sealed and so the question couldn't or shouldn't be asked. i didn't ask because i wasn't sure which answer i wanted or which answer i would get. the question remained hanging there by the stairs. the question followed me up the steps, into the flat, out into the terrace. there it lingered for a while and then in fluttered away. the question may have fluttered all the way to his ears. and played around in his mind, turning this way and that. or it may have fluttered all the way to some other girl's brain. at the bottom of some other stairs. and that girl may have known what answer she may have wanted to hear. so she may have asked the question and got the right answer. or maybe she got the wrong answer and she wished she never asked. or the question may have remained fluttering around over london, with the crows and the ravens, and somewhere somehow some girl and some boy will wake up together, or separately, the next day, with one less question between them to remain.

first day tally

head, check
arms, check
legs, check
brain, check
hope, check

i hope that's true

he looked at her and said, i hope that's true. she looked at him and said, you bet.

clouds

clouds
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

i tied a piece of string to the end of a cloud while on a flight across the seas. i made sure it was nice and tight and then i jumped. the cloud buckled at first, unsure of how to react. by and by it calmed down and let me ride its wave. now here i am stuck on a cloud, happy as can be.

bad person

bad person sits on top of a mountain concentrating on the three tasks that were assigned to them by someone long ago:

1 - to pretend to have dreams and to pretend to try to follow them
2 - to pretend to care about others when really they have no feelings either way
3 - to judge others for not dreaming or caring enough

bad husband

bad husband didn't realize he had got married until it was too late. so he just sits there, looking dumb, making her feel it's all her fault.

bad worker

bad worker comes to meetings, organizes agendas, sets out tasks, reassures colleagues, makes timetables, writes proposals, and then goes to their desk and plays tetris until it's time to go home. (late, of course, bad worker is always the last one to leave the office)

bad wife

bad wife didn't notice that the food was burning until the whole kitchen was on fire. and then she took one look, untied her apron, slowly wiped her hands and walked away fixing her hair, never looking back.

bad friend

bad friend won't chat to you if their favourite TV programme is on. and they will lie to you. just to get you off the phone.

bad family member

bad family member knows the birthdays are coming. but they don't happen in reality. because bad family member has created a completely new reality. so because these birthdays don't come into reality, bad family member doesn't buy birthday presents, send birthday cards, plan birthday treats. birthdays go unnoticed. birthdays go unnoticed as go illness, pain, new cars, births, deaths, marriages, first words, basketball victories, boyfriends, new jobs, and the whole other reality which bad family member doesn't live in anymore. because bad family member is very good at dissociating. at letting go. at forgetting. which is bad. but this is bad family member, and this is what they're god at. this and feeling sorry for themselves for being a bad family member.

a wedding

they never will remember how it happened that they agreed to do it, or where or when. but they will never forget the day it happened. the grand entrance. the sweaty hands. the smiles all over. the friends. the dance. the day. the night.

let's go

P7090035.JPG
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

follow me, let's go to the big chilll!

gray

there is a hillside and on the other side must be where it is. this is this is this is it. gray on top and silvery birches. there is a hillside and on the other side there it is. a gray cat and a gray-eyed woman. there in the hillside. with the silvery birches and the gray sky. there is a hillside and it is gray and climb it we must. to get to the rainbow coloured land.

hot stuff

hot stuff sits in a chair by herself for all of three seconds. first to come up is a bear from the northern hemisphere with a thirst for exotic stories. second comes a fox sleek and stylish but way to cool for his shirt. third comes a clown with green eyes and glasses best described as culo de botella. and hot stuff sighs, which makes her breast move up and down, and goes off with the clown, because if there is something in this world that can be stated without a shadow of a doubt is that a girl will always fall for someone who makes her laugh. and conversely you can also be damn sure that she'll fall out of love as soon as she realizes she's laughing at him...

the stall

in the morning she set off to the south bank with a carboard box, a piece of canvas, a tin of paint, a brush and a length of string. she chose a spot, set out the canvas flat on the sidewalk, took out the paint and wrote in big red letters on the canvas. then she took the string and cut it in four bits. she threaded each piece of string through each corner of the canvas and tied the resulting banner to the railing on one side and to a tree on the other. then she placed the cardboard box in front of the canvas and painted it red as well. finally she sat behind the box and set out to wait.

in the afternoon a man walked past and the writing made him stop. he read the words twice just to make sure and then he sat beside the girl. she looked at him, smiled and make a snaking motion with her hand. twice.

in the morning

alcohol buzzing through your body. alcohol buzzing through your body. alcohol memories buzzing through your body. alcohol baldness buzzing through your body. alcohol mistakes buzzing through your body. alcohol dreams alcohol words alcohol smiles alcohol alcohol alcohol.