the fucking hand of destiny

this is the way it works. the hand is covered in gold rings. it's a clumsy hand. well intentioned, for sure, but nevertheless. the hand decides to pick someone at random. and off it goes, shakily approaching its subject. rings clinking away. and bam! just when it means to lightly caress the chosen one's shoulder... a dog barks in the distance, the hand is startled and someone somewhere get a slap right across the face and it will take a full twenty years at least to recover from the shock. the fucking hand of destiny.