itchy

once upon a time there was a man with a very bushy beard and a pair of blue eyes like a sunday morning. a girl came along and scratched his beard and he liked it so much that he took his portable solar powered chain saw, chopped off the girls hands and put them in his red rucksack for later use.

unfortunately the fingernails on the hands kept growing (hairs, nails, isn't it strange?) and eventually they got so long that they became too scratchy and the beard got all bloodied and patchy. so the man had no option but to get on his chevrolet and drive to the nearest body part recycling site to dispose of the now useless hands.

meantime, the girl, after recovering from the inital shock, grew another pair of hands and became hugely famous through the writing of slightly cookie horror stories.