commitment to the cause of nothingness

one of the most eminent inactivity scientists in the western hemisphere is undertaking a groundbreaking experiment. the scientist has taken to her bed and is planning on never to leave it except for physiological necessities or getting drunk. while it may be argued that others have tried this experiment with varying degrees of success, never has it been carried out with such commitment, strength of character and abnegation. we wish the scientist all success in her new venture and look forward to the final report on her findings as soon as she resumes what we now call normal activity but may need to review completely after the results are in.