5 ways in which to render a human being completely incapable of work

• give them so many work tasks that all they can do is waste their time wondering what to do first
• offer them stupid amounts of money for their flat at very short notice, therefore making them spend extraordinary amounts of time thinking about what happens next
• send them on a lovely holiday in only a week's time, resulting in more time spent wondering what to do, what to wear, what to see
• make them organize a party this weekend, even more time will go into looking forward to hanging out with friends
• tickle them