i pointed my camera in your direction, and this happened

after talking to Suzie

Una foto publicada por Helena Suárez (@ladelentesuy) el 11 de Dic de 2016 a la(s) 8:09 PST

"It's obvious when I shot him I intended to kill him."

one night in hampsted, ruth ellis, the nightclub hostess, shot her racing driver lover, david blakely outside the magdala pub. she emptied a gun into his body and let herself be taken in. i imagine it was a chilly night, as nights would have been in april in london in the 50s. perhaps a bit of fog clouding her judgement. perhaps a bit of drink easing the way.  the judge asked her what she had intended.

"It's obvious when I shot him I intended to kill him."

she was hanged for her honesty, the last woman to hang in the uk.

retozando - lincoln's inn fields

he pulls her scarf over her eyes, clasps her hands behind her back and kisses her. and kisses her. and kisses her. pigeons do their best to provide a romantic backdrop. the sun comes out from behind a puffy cloud. and he kisses her. and she laughs. and they both fall on the grass giggling like little children.

steve

he stops for me in his black cab. reading my mind. i'm not going to walk all the way from tower bridge to vauxhall, no sir, not in my heels. and he says as i get on, don't matter if you only have ten pounds but when we get there i'll ask you a question and i say that's ok and so we ride and we say the usual things. i'm from uruguay. the knowledge. london dangerous. suburban living. and when we get home i'm one pound short and he says well i wanted to show you my watercolours and he shows me in his digital camera and then he says i want to paint you, would you like to model. and i say. i'll be honest with you, i've modelled before and would love to, but i don't do nudes and he says that's great cos i don't paint nudes and then we chat about my sabbatical and logistics. and if i want a cab all i have to do is call him so long as i give him 25 minutes' notice and thankyou you're so great. no i won't shake you're hand, i'll kiss your cheek when you get off. let me do my taxi driver thing and, oh you had more than a tenner so what were you worried about. peck on the cheek and walk to the door and calls me back and says helena, and i walk back and say what? when you have your beauty sleep tonight, yeah. yeah? well, just make sure you don't have too much cos you've already got enough, leave some for us ugly guys.

glowing

taxi ride home, london upside down on the thames. blue trees, towering gherking, stratospheric domes. shimmering in the pinklight. a full working night. last night. bag of presents. pink frog. maybe a prince or two. pints in the champion with bristol girl. bounce back for tapas. phone phone phone glow. flowery measuring tape so innocent and yet leading to such a dirty conversation that janet street porter blushes on the table next to us. brandy in cafe kick, newly painted flags shining underfoot. a hat so so so so fetching. bus ride home. no, stop at guanabara for last minute birthday kiss. walk to the aldwich. wonder at last day non-last day feeling. taxi ride. london upside down on the thames. everything upside down. everything glowing. glowing.

seasonal light

blue and orange
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

there was a time when things were clear and transparent. there was a time when i was clear and transparent. there was a time when my thoughts were clear and transparent. translucent. bright. unquestionable. certain. reflective. now it's all twinkling and sparkling and mysterious, like farylights in the london fog.

night out

out on the roof terrace under the stars, london watching as we play tag. high heels clip-cloppeting on the decking. chasing the little girl with her smooth dark hair and an easy smile. you're it!

trembling

across blackfriars bridge the ground runs away from under your feet. the river shimmers fuchsia down below. the red bannister smooth only just waist height. hold on while you feel the trembling of your heart run to your hand to the bannister to the bridge to the river below, breaking up the smooth flowing surface into a million fiery ripples.

resuming normal service

flat hunting is the most incredible way to see the city. you get to see how people live, you get to see london from different angles, you get to daydream about all the new ways in which your life can unfold in your possible new home. at the same time, it's the most frustrating way to see the city. you get to wander around getting lost in obscure estates, see the horrible places that some people try to flog you, the smells of a city you don't really live in and you never really will know. it's going to be an interesting journey. and one day i'll walk into a place and it will be home. the one i'll have been looking for forever.

farewell

london has given me as parting gifts: an amazing gig, a magically clear sky punctuated by a perfect, almost-full moon, messages from people that love me and whom i love.

perhaps i should leave more often. perhaps i shouldn't leave at all....

still

turquoise
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

insects in the pond make up their own raindrop display while london speaks to me in its soft whisper of traffic, helicopters and human activity. in the distance, builders communicate with each other across the town in the ancient language of knock-knock - knock-knock-knock - knock - knock

the great escape

twice a day the thames tries to get away from london. twice a day london pulls it back. tempting.

still

london is alive with sirens and parties. i'm in the eye of the storm. catching my breath. burning inside. soaking up the droplets of this welcome summer rain.

thoughts that wake you up

birdsong. confusing. out of place. un-london.
nebulous shapes in your brain. vain efforts to remember dream.
looking back. small memories. smile playing in the corner of your mouth.
all wrong. no point looking back. open eyes.
alarms goes off. snooze. 10 minutes more.

greenwich

look beyond the green hill, london sitting there. london beautiful. london mine.

art of the snapshot - song

this life
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

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this life, london, may 2006

where have i been?

• walking the streets of london
• soaking up the sun
  
• taking photos
• working hard
• trying not to type too much
  

art of the snapshot - alone in a crowd

Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

36 pictures in 36 minutes. find a theme, a subject, an inspiration, a story.

i walk into the british museum, carrying my loneliness with me. london-style. hundreds of people milling around, and still i can find empty spaces. they draw me in, they capture me, i find all the other loners in the crowd.

smoke

fills your nostrils, makes you choke, burns your eyes.
reminds you of barbeques, asados, guy fawkes' nights.
sticks to your clothes, swirls into every corner, blurs all edges.
blends into this foggy, cloudy day in london town.

weekend vignettes

dancing on the tables of a cheesy bar in old street. walking the streets of london with a ghanian chef. being told by a senior navy commander (retired) that if anybody gave me any shit i should find him and he'd sort them out. having organic chilli con carne and drinking a whole bottle of prosecco. making pancakes like a loon on sunday morning. dancing on the tables of a house in highbury and islington.