headache

a hand searching under a bra
the cold of a wall against a back
a hand pinning arms over a head
teeth drawing blood on angry lips
legs curled round the small of a back
eyes locked in defiant glare
cold, hard, blood
headache gone

dissatisfaction

life has been kind to me, so naturally i want more.

london night

aftershave aftershave aftershave aftershave woman waving from window aftershave haircut traffic lights aftershave moon drizzle laughter aftershave drink birds aftershave aftershave aftershave

snob

can anyone truly love someone who mixes up "accept" with "except"?

mr fox wonders where to go next

mr fox wonders where to go next
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

she told him that she wouldn't see him any more and then walked off, stomping her newly found confidence up the path. he stood there and watched her walk away.

that was three days ago, and he's still there.

sunrise

sunrise
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

no words required

imm****nt!

walking down the canal a group of polish guys laugh by. a fucking asshole shouts after them "immigrants! immigrants" as if hurling insults. i shout at him "fucking asshole!". well, if we're going to start stating the obvious...

notebook

ideas fly around your head and you think you'll be able to catch them later on but of course, once they've flown, they're gone.

say when

crosss-atlantic appearance and disappearance and reappearance
let us know when you've had enough

canal walk

a man running on bare feet
ducks weaving v's on the water
planes drawing lines in the sky
smell of damp leaves in the canal
a little cloud hanging on the horizon

wisdom in advertising

when something feels right, hang on to it

exhaustedness

so tired, so very tired, so incredibly tired. that i can't write anymore.

frustration

time difference
poor communication
lack of face to face contact

dream diary

after a night out in the pub a girl and i have made friends and we decide to go on together to this guys party. we're on the late bus to wood green and the guy is explaining where he lives but we're not really paying attention. near my home, i tell the girl she can come to my house instead of going to the guy's as he's really annoying. however she's more up for a party than just hanging out with me. for some reason we get off the bus and now the girl is n. and we get on another bus but we now have lost the guy so we really don't know where we're going. n. says she doesn't mind, she'll enjoy the bus ride (the sun is now out) as it's her day off. i remember i have to go publish a new website today so i tell her to go on her own, get off and walk back home.

dream diary

i am french. i'm on holiday in a place in a forest with a couple of yankees and a little french girl. we're not getting on very well. we're lost somehow. the litle girl goes off in a huff. we're in some wooden shacks. we don't have money to get back. we're in trouble, but someone remembers there's a dead body in the shack next door and we think we can make some money donating the organs. we set off with the body down along a river but its hard going. luckily we find some metal tubing that runs parallel to the river, with a bit of water, like those things to carry logs. we put the body on the tube and we can then drag it with a rope. at one point, though, the tube-path goes down into a vertical drop and the body falls into the ground. at this point we see the body has completely decomposed. no organs to donate. i also realise the little girl is not with us. the yankees keep going with the body, somehow they think they can still make money out of it. i argue with them that we should go find the girl but they're not interested, so i go back on my own. when i get back to the shacks she's not there, but i go to the toilet and i see her knickers there. bloody.

from the street X

heart attack legs.

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dream diary

hanging
Originally uploaded by ladelentes.

a group of us are sitting on a hill overlooking the canal's basin. the water is dark and still, mirroring the passing sky. over the other side of the canal is a group of cranes and diggers from the building site. this is a friend's hen do, and i have asked the builders to do something special for us. suddenly all the cranes start swooping in and out of the canal, skimming the water, pecking at the earth near us, like hungry birds doing some magical dance. it is a beautiful sight, elegant and urban and mysterious. as suddenly as it all began, it ends, the cranes back to silent stillness. then a group of firemen come along. for some reason the have to go through a net tunnel to get to us. by the time they arrive, though, we're so high on the spectacle of the cranes and champagne and being together that we don't really pay attention to them. they are beautiful men, but so what, is the feeling. so off the canter back to where they came from and leave us to frolic on the hill as the sun sets.

celebrity spotting

helen mirren wearing old trainers in columbia road market, gillian anderson hiding in the queue to visit the small museum in lincoln's inn fields.

dotty

off she goes, chuckling at her own jokes. stare all you like, she's hilarious.

derailed

the improbably named pepsi montana is offering baby buggies and backpacks. i shall not accept her offer, the equally ridiculous sprite lasagna replied to the group. but in due course she did, and the air of suspicion that grew within their mist gradually caused them all to extricate themselves from this incredible outrage.

churning

woman. woman. woman. woman. make decision. wrong turn. old tricks. panick attack. control. breathe. get to work.

fighting for freedom

every day we wake up and make decisions. some are harder than others. some we don't even know we're making. some we avoid. some we put up with. but every day we can take the decision to know, to participate, to engage and to not bury our heads in the sand, or feel disheartened. there is only one day, every day. and come evening that will be the last time that you live that day. make the right decisions.

support the protesters in myanmar/burma

serenity

there is a fish waiting in the sea. a fish waiting to catch another fish. the fish doesn't know it's a fish. it doesn't know it needs to catch another fish. the fish is just floating, moving its fins gently in the sea currents. its scales shine in the light coming through from the surface. the fish doesn't know this. it just floats there, shimmering, unknowing, waiting for the other fish. and when it comes, it will know exactly what to do.